...​​known as the Serpent King. And to be sure, he’s a snake in every sense of the word. In human form, he embodies the “stretch-man superhero archetype.” He can stretch and bend his limbs in an elastic, serpentine manner, allowing him to grasp adversaries at a distance. He may constrict them—often to death. Wurmstein plays a particular role in the Reptiloid ecosystem: the fastidious control of Swamp Golems. As is well known, Golems may turn on their masters. But this is far less likely when footage exists of them cannibalizing humans—and Wurmstein is the one responsible for acquiring this blackmail.

...​​​whom you ask—dominated and controlled by the Mercurian paranormal Ortho-Bro. As a man, the Ursine walks among political elites in disguise, serving a salient political role. In battle, he dons the pelt of a bear and, when enraged, enters a berserker state (hamask)—his limbs grotesquely distending, his flesh melding with claw and fur until, through stages, he becomes a towering 12-foot bear-god. He is believed to have inspired the Viking berserkers and may have lived among them before the founding of the Rus. In truth, he is an ancient Hyborean alien—an Arcturian, more specifically—descended from the Arcturus star system colony. There, the Hyboreans, engaging in illegal genetic engineering to strengthen their breed against the Reptiloid threat, produced the Werebear blood symbiont. Ortho-Bro keeps the Russian Bear ignorant of his alien origin. Indeed, only he can subdue and control him, holding him spellbound by his spinning paterissa. After all, should the Ursine ever awaken fully, it may mark the end of Mercurian—and Reptiloid—rule.

...​​​​any sport he enters while concealing 95% of his “power level.” Only Über-Chad, who is good at everything, surpasses him. A self-styled multi-sport athlete, Sportzball fights in Kevlar sports gear—helmet, pads, and an adamantine bat—occasionally hurling baseballs to subdue adversaries from a distance (carefully avoiding Normie casualties who may one day become fans). His most remarkable power isn’t physical but paranormal: simply witnessing his athletic feats causes Normies to fall into stunned awe, temporary paralysis, or mass lethargy. Conversely, he can incite crowds into violent, fanatical action against any enemy who dares oppose him. These crowds, or “fans,” respond to his simple rallying cry: “They want to take away your Sportzball. Will you allow it?” It is believed Idol does not possess this power innately, but rather receives it through his helmet—a “paranormal transmitter” that channels mind control commands from the paranormal Fake News, which are then broadcast to Sportzball’s fans.